


Some How

by CaptainTardis



Series: I hurt Kusanagi... I have no Regrets [2]
Category: K (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death, Captain will make port at Port Angst, Don't ask for Angst from me, Hoes 4 Homra, I think that the proper term?, I'm sorry Bar, Other, Overuse of Tatara's saying, References to Depression, Survivor Guilt, i'm going with it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:00:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21818557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainTardis/pseuds/CaptainTardis
Summary: He didn't cry for Tatara. Never had the time.---He didn't cry for Mikoto either.---His eyes watch the flames lick and destroy the last thing he held dear and he feels that last bit of control shatter like glass. A completely broken and distressed sob tears through his throat and his eyes start to tear up.
Relationships: Awashima Seri & Fushimi Saruhiko, Awashima Seri/Kusanagi Izumo, Fushimi Saruhiko & Kusanagi Izumo
Series: I hurt Kusanagi... I have no Regrets [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1817926
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	Some How

**Author's Note:**

> I don't remember who asked for Angst in our Hoes 4 Homra chat but I delivered with max pain... and then turned my ship right the fuck back around to made port again with this shit. 
> 
> Sorry Kusanagi.

_Don't sweat it… It'll all work out some how…_  
  
He's never believed in those words. No mater how many times Tatara had said them he could never get himself to believe them. It's not that he didn’t want to believe in them or that Tatara didn't end up right on things working out in the end more often than not. He just never deluded himself into thinking that everything would **always** be like that. Honestly part of him hated Tatara's outlook on everything only because he knew why the other saw things the way he did but that didn't mean he had to like it. All of him hated how reckless the other constantly was to the point of constantly worrying about his well being. It didn't stop him from loving and caring for the idiot though even when he was saying those words.   
  
_Don't sweat it… It'll all work out some how…_  
  
He never believed those words less on that rooftop watching as his best friend bled out in Yata's arms. He's never felt more helpless in that moment either. Never has he felt so powerless even before they had this red given to them did he feel this powerless. Somehow he makes the phone call to their king, to his last best friend. And he knows that those words would never be true. Not when Tatara was gone. He knew there was no stopping his king. Not that he entirely _wanted_ to stop him. If only so he wouldn't lose someone else but even he knew that was cruel to do when Mikoto didn't want to keep going. He knew his king was at his end… and there was nothing he could do to change that.   
  
He didn't cry for Tatara. Never had the time.   
  
_Don't sweat it… It'll all work out some how…_  
  
Those words tasted like ash in his mouth as he watched his clan be lead into their chant by Kamamoto. He watched the last gift Mikoto could give Anna rise into the air forming the lose representation of their mark. He wonders if it will ever work out after this. His eyes sting but he blinks away the feeling and looks at his clan. They would be looking to him now. He needs to be strong for them. He needs to try and lead them into this new world without a king. He needs to be strong for his family. He needs to be.   
  
He didn't cry for Mikoto either.  
  
_Don't sweat it… It'll all work out some how…_  
  
Word got out quickly that the Red Monster of Homra was slain.   
  
_Don't sweat it… It'll all work out some how…_  
  
He didn't have the space in his apartment for Anna. She had always stayed above the bar with Mikoto so there was no need for him to have had a space for her in his own apartment. He supposes he'll need to move into a bigger place to make sure she still had her own space. Luckily Kamamoto offered to take her so he had her for the weekend. The other saying that they could go to the amusement park and the arcade to give Kusanagi time to figure things out. Kusanagi had kicked Yata out of the bar the night before so that the younger could get himself cleaned up. He knew the signs of depression from Mikoto to recognize them in vanguard… and to be honest in himself at times.   
  
He spent the day talking to his landlord about seeing if she had any larger apartments for him to move into. She told him she’d get back to him on Monday so hopefully it would go well. After drinking more than he probably should have he was finally able to sleep. He woke the next morning with a groan and glared at his alarm clock saying something about a storm coming through later that day before he shut it off. He smokes as he always does when he first wakes up and then he goes about the rest of his routine.   
  
_Don't sweat it… It'll all work out some how…_  
  
On his walk to the bar he is passed by a few Scepter 4 vans and that has his curiosity peaked. Then a fire engine, then a second, and he hums noting the smell of smoke reaching his nose. Maybe a strain related fire? He wonders as he looked up to find the thick black smoke in the air. He frowns looking at smoke and his step falters slightly before he's running the rest of the way to the bar.   
  
_Don't sweat it…_  
  
He doesn't think he has ever felt this lost before. Looking at what remains of his precious bar as the fire still rages inside the building. What remains of about the only thing he had left from his Uncles. The place where his best friend used to live. The place that had been their clans HOME.

His eyes watch the flames lick and destroy the last thing he held dear and he feels that last bit of control shatter like glass. A completely broken and distressed sob tears through his throat and his eyes start to tear up.  
  
_It'll all work out some how…_  
  
When Doumyouji came to Fushimi about news about the fire that was set at the bar it was him and Awashima that quickly went to the scene. Some other members of the squad followed them and were trying to block off area from civilians as they looked at the bar. Akiyama is the one that tells them about Kusanagi arriving to the scene and for a few moments no one knows what to do. There is no right ay to talk to a rival, a former rival, clansmen who just lost their everything is there?  
  
Fushimi and Awashima argue a bit while trying to decide who should be the one to go talk to the former red second in command about everything. Fushimi argued that the bartender was Awashima’s boyfriend so she should be the one to go over to him plus he'd more likely appreciate her over Fushimi anyhow. Awashima argued back that Fushimi was his former clanmate. Neither go the chance to talk to the bartender because as soon a they hear the distressed sound come from Kusanagi and when they turn towards it the blond is gone.   
  
He had never heard his former clanmate ever sound like that. Mad? Sure. Disappointed? Hard not to with the rest of Homra the other had to deal with. Happy? Especially that one. Broken? Never. Both of the Scepter 4 officers try and locate him after that to no avail. They try his apartment and its empty and cold like the man hadn't even been there that morning even though they saw the still drying dish from his breakfast. They try the other Homra members and none had seen or heard from him and none had been happy to find out about the bar. When they talked to Anna the young strain girl was worried and told them that she couldn't _see_ Izumo.   
  
The storm breaks sometime in the middle of the day and its like mother nature is angry and upset with how everything has gone that day. Thunder rolls like angry cries being shouted out, the rains pours down like tears that just won’t ever stop, and lightening strikes like a fist slammed on the ground.  
  
_Don't sweat it…_  
  
When they find him it’s the last place Fushimi expected. Kusanagi is sitting on the rooftop where him and Yata had found Totsuka and he is soaked to the bone wet and shivering because he doesn't want to use his red and remind himself of everything that has gone wrong. He doesn't even acknowledge the two blue clansmen then they join him on the roof. Or acknowledge how Seri covers him with the umbrella, not that it helps anything his clothes are beyond soaked and he'll probably have a hell of a cold later. Doesn't acknowledge Seri calling his name. Or how Fushimi is hovering close by and that his former clansmen's red is trying to call out to his own. He wont look at them his eyes drifting from the city to the spot where Yata had held Tatara as he died.   
  
_It'll all work out some how…_  
  
It seems like forever before Kusanagi mumbles out something that neither blue catch and Seri is crouching in front of him now asking him to repeat his words. He's forced to look at her and he can see it in her face that he looks just about as broken as he feels. He gives her a broken smile before he speaks again.   
  
"If it had been me… None of this would have happened… they'd both be home at a perfect bar… They'd both be alive… It should have been ME."  
  
Fushimi wants to say that he is wrong but even he knows that not all of that would be a lie. Mikoto would still track down the colorless king but if Totsuka was there he would never allow the red king to push his limits so far. He knows Totsuka would have kept his King from getting himself killed. It's probably a good thing he doesn't try to say anything and lets Awashima try and do the comforting allowing her to say that he's wrong that he is needed here. He is needed for his clan. That it wouldn't be the same with out their second. Not the same bar with out its bartender. That it will be okay. All while avoiding saying that she needs him here that she needs him to be okay. Fushimi lets her make promises of getting the bar fixed up as he pointedly avoids fully looking at broken man.   
  
Kusanagi shakes his head and laughs lowly that even sounds wrong to his own ears as he stands up.   
  
_"Don't sweat it… It'll all work out some how."_

Fushimi frowns hearing those words from the other's mouth and he knows that Kusanagi hasn't ever believed them. He knows that no matter how much Kusanagi had wanted to believe them the blond never did. He can see Awashima is confused but he doesn’t make a comment to help her figure it out as he watches Kusanagi look out at the city before going to the door leading to the rooftop. He watches as the bartender stops at the door but doesn't look back as he speaks again. "Take care of my family will ya?" before the bartender is gone again. 

They don't here from him again for weeks and when Awashima finally does he's in Germany trying to get information on the slates.

_Don't sweat it… It'll all work out some how…_

**Author's Note:**

> Again sorry Kusanagi I love you I swear... just ask everyone in the chat... But I had to... well not HAD to more like WANTED to... 
> 
> Some of the wording in this sounds weird but oh well. It was a Chat idea sooooo….. 
> 
> Find me on tumblr!  
> https://captaintardis.tumblr.com/  
> We can talk K together!
> 
> Comments and kudos are very much appreciated!
> 
> And! As usual with all of my works this basically unedited (not really I spend a lot of time going through these before posting them but still) and is all written on my phone! So if you see any mistakes or if something isn’t worded right please do tell me so that I can attempt to fix it!
> 
> Please and thank you!
> 
> See you next time!


End file.
